Eastern

Another long weekend has past, a weekend with hardly any sleep and a lot of downs, some tears and a few good moments. If I would write down whatever went through my head, this blog would be too long. So a short story is better in place.

Sleep.

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Only last morning I slept for a few hours. That was past 7am so I got up late, but at least I had some sleep since the two nights before I did not slept at all.

Emotions

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Tired and not being able to suppress my feelings my depressions are taking overhand again. I tried to get a much distraction as I could get, but still I got irritable and quiet. All my thoughts are very negative and I feel no need to be happy or even be alive. My head becomes heavy and I just stare to one point. A stinging headache takes over, and all I want is just sleep.

Medication

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I’ve been reading a form about the medication I’m going to get. At first I was looking forward to it, but now I’m scared. It made me wonder if I’m doing the right thing. But then I realized that in such a forum you would meanly read the negative stories. Why would anyone go on a forum if he or she is had no trouble with the drug. So I will continue and at least give it a try. But it not something to be taken for a few weeks, it’s at least half a year.

Good

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Besides all the negative things there are some positive things as well. I did had my good moments where I was feeling reasonable happy. I did not had any serious crave to either have a drink or to go to the pub. I’m also getting some creative thoughts again and will try to put them to reality this week.