The Wall

The Wall

I do not really remember when I started building my wall, my emotional defense to the outside world which I often do not understand. The fact that I'm naked is not to scare anybody, but I'm myself behind that wall with nothing to hide.

A few years ago I tried to break down the wall, well at least a little, an opened up somewhat. But I guess that every brick in that wall stands for pain, misunderstanding and emotions. And so it happened, every time I try to open up, somebody or something hurts me. But I really need to learn to deal with it, since nobody will ever see the real me if I stay behind this wall.

If I'm ever going to break down this wall I need some defense, some courage and energy to stand up to the world. But where and how? Whenever I do something that others respond to in a, for me, negative way I just hide instead of responding back. I'm always there trying to please others and not thinking about my own needs. I'm I so complicated ore just plain stupid. I guess it will be the latter. But still, I do not know how to break down this wall and even then, I'm scared without my hiding place.